I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You did what with his pubic hair?
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