she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Randomize
