I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Rumble strips road head = magical
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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