Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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