last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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