this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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