i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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