is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
