i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
