Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
