i barfeds in our rink
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My vagina is officially offended.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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