so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
