That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
