so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
