Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
