The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
