I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
