So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
