So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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