I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize