you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
