the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
