also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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