saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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