Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
