Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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