sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
