i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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