R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dignity is for republicans.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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