but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
