I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
