Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize