I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
