belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
