Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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