I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
