so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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