We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
