i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
