I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
