After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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