I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize