we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
