Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
