your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
