Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
