Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
