he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
