I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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