He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize