entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
