we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
