He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
