This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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