I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
