I think i peed on brittanys purse
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
