I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
