What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
