Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
