Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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